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About The Dalles weekly chronicle. (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1947 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 30, 1896)
The Weekly Chronicle NOTICE. All eastern foreign advertisers are inferred to our representative, Mr. Katz, 230-234 Temple Court, New York City. .Eastern advertising must De con tracted through him. STATE OFFICIALS. ejvernoi.. W. P. Lord arretHrv nf state EB Kincaid Treasurer Phillip Metschan Bupt. of Puhllo Instruction u. M. nwin A ttnrnev. Oeneral C. M. Idleman ' (G. W. McBride EHfliabuni ... f J. H. Mitchell Congressmen.. Btate Printer. . IB' Hermann IW. R. ElUs .,..W. II. Leeds COUNTY OFFICIALS. rnmrtr J nil ere. Robt. Mars Hheriff. T. J. Driver Clerk A M. Kelsay Treasurer C. L. Phillips , . I A. s. mowers wiuiiuuuuucii )D. 8. Kimsey lu.nr ' W. II. WhiDDl Surveyor ;. . .: -J. B. (ioit Superintendent ot Public Schools. . .C. L. Gilbert Coroner " Juks i ... THE FOOL SENATE. The United States senate Las been amusing itse.'f by monkeying with new immigration law. It is pre vided in the new bill that no tor eigner over sixteen years of age wi! be allowed to come to this country to remain unless be can read five lines of the constitution of the United States in some language. It is fur ther proyided that after the aforesaid person comes, proves his ability to read the five lines of the constitution translated into a foreign language ' and so becomes one of us, he may then send for his parents, children brothers or sisters; dependent on him, and these may land without any educational test. A man with intellect enough to keep out of the Banyan hospital for sick insects would know better than to draft such a bill, or to waste the time of the senate in considering it. Any family with one member smart enough to read and write could come and so that law to prohibit or con trol immigration would do neither, The question of immigration is at tracting cousidcrablc attention, and like all other questions, has two sides, If it should be stopped, then a law should be framed stopping it: but such bills as the one alluded to are simply the vaporings of a befuddled intellect of very small bore. Its author was trving to please the parti sans on either side of the question an J, like an ostrich with its head in the sand, thought he had very smoothly fooled both. The United States senate is rapidly convincing the people that the selec tion of railroad altornej-s, presidents of corporations and political Jekyll Hyde monstrosities, must result in a change of base, either by doing away with the two-headed political calves, bearded women and living skeletons, or by the election of another class of men directly by the people. The mental vacuums now in the senate are not brainy enough to "fool part of the people part of the time." PENSION LAWS. There is no higher evidence of the gratefulness cf republics than the pension list of the United States with nearly a million pensioners, drawing an average of $150 each. That there are many persons draw ing pensions who should not be, is undoubtedly true, but this will hap, pen in spite of the closest vigilance. The list is great enough, however, as it is, and congress will do well to call a halt in pension legislation, in stead of branching oat. "We believe in pensions worthily bestowed, but not otherwise ; but we do not believe m pensioning all the relatives of an ex -soldier's mother-in-law. Neither do we believe in pen sioning women not born until after the war simply because they married a veteran after it was over. We do not believe it required, or requires, a cbromo to go with an old soldier who marries, the chromo being in the shape of a possible future pension to the widow. The woman who got a soldier for a husband after the late war, in most cases got a good man, and one of whom she might well be proud. It is quite possible that children yet unborn, if girls, may yet become pensioners as widows of some veteran of the late war. And yet congress proposes to ex tend the list and add to the vast sum annually expended. ', Is should think j not twice, but once only, before doing it, and then not do it. The Associated Press is getting utterly and thoroughly unreliable. There is" no lonsrer anything in the dispatches that can be relied upon as being true, and it is time that a reform take nlace. or some other news gathering corporation be or ganized. We realize how difficult it is, how impossible it is, to get at the exact truth in many things. We un derstand that in the rush of news- gathering some mistakes are neces sarily made, and that to be accurate in all cases is impossible. Inaccu racy in a certain class of news, is to be expected, but while the public expects this and willingly overlooks it, it does not expect that the truth should be ignored intentionally and the faked tin stories that would not .deseive a three-weeks old Papuan furnished it instead. The association should instruct its news-gleaners to stop telegraphing eyery rotten rumor that is told them and dressing it up as truth. If the next legislature is as eco nomical as the people seem to desire it to be, there will he but few clerks and when it adjourns there will be no more commissioners left. The railroad commission will probably be the first to go, and it is possible the term of the supreme court at Pendle ton may be discontinued. It was only established there by the legisla ture to dodge the requirements of the constitution and pay the supreme judges $1,500 per year more than the salary allowed them under the con stitution. The decision of the su preme court that all state institutions must be located at Salem may possi bly apply to the supreme court. Only three more days in which to decide upon just what to swear off on. it is one oi the features or tne season that something must De sworn off, and soon after sworn on again, ine cm pipe mat nas cione such yeoman service will be laid away for two or three days, or perhaps a week, but it need not flatter itself that it is to retire from business. Its wreaths of smoke will soon be seen again, ana the tvamsonian iragrance of its bowl will perfume the air long before the cherry blooms get their work in. Its the same way with other things, for good resolutions are easy to make, and much more easy to break. Rivera seems to be a worthy suc cessor to Maceo, his hrst engage ment with the Spaniards resulting in decisive victory. From present indications the war will be prolonged ndefinilely, or at least until Spain exhausts her resources, or this coun try intervenes. Spain, it 'is said, will offer a settlement on the basis of giving Cuba autonomy, allowing her to elect her own congress, Spain still appointing the captain general. This offer a year ago might have been ac cepted, but it Is not likely it will meet with favor among Cubans now. With them it is all or nothing. A description of Christmas at Bethlehem, going the rounds of the country papers, contains a very sug gestive suggestion. It states that a regiment of Turks are on guard dur ing the Christmas festivities to keep the different sects from fighting over and trying to apptopriate the sacred relics kept there. It seems rather paradoxical to think of Turks guard ing the birthplace of the Savior to prevent Christians ravaging it, but such is the fanaticism of sect thai the guard is probably necessary. It is really too bad that such open weather as we are having is being allowed to pass by without a dia mond drill being on its way down to our coal beds. Let us get a move on and see what can be found. With The. Dalles at the head of nav- i gat ion, and with a good vein or two of coal, n; city on the coast would compare with her. She is way yonder ahead of most ot them now, but with good coal mines she would be "out of sight." The people of some parts of New Jersey, as well as those of the United States, . are ardent Cuban sympa thizers, and recently Weyler was hanged in effigy. ANOTHER ALAMO. Texans have made another Alamo, and in the cause of freedom. On the unhaDDV soil of Cuba fifteen brave fellows have poured out theii life blood, a libation on the altars of liberty. Hopeless of succor, they unflinchingly faced a- myriad foe, and one bv one fell at the post of duty. Called upon to surrender, they sent back the grim reply, "We remember Maceo," and prepared . to die as brave men die. One by one they fell, yet there were no trembl ing hands, no dimmed eyes, no quak ing hearts in that little heroic band. At last but two remained. Wound ed,' bleeding, parched with thirst, their indomnitable spirits exulted in death, and with the cry "Vive Cuba Libre," they fell beneath the hacking knives of the accursed Spanish sol diery. . . The world over, heroic deeds send the blood tingling thioilgh artery and vein, and mingling with sorrow for the untimely death of those brave fellows who fell in the cause of hu man freedom, is a thrill of pride that Americans have not yet forgot ten how to die. ihe pages ot his tory are emblazoned with heroic deeds, and for centuries the story of Leonidas and his immortal band has furnished a theme for historian, poet orator and oaiater. That one field where fell all but two has been pointed to as the greatest of all bat ties. It remained for Davy Crockett and his band of Texans to furnish, at the Alamo, a second Thermopylae, where Death held carnival, but Fear entered not. The Spartans fell re sistinar the Persians, and in the de fense of their liberty, their homes. their country their all. No greater motive ever moved the hearts of men. Yet, at the Alamo, the brave Texans died on the heaps of dead that they had made, to free them selves from the rule of the descend ants of Spain. The', too, fought for liberty for themselves, to acquire freedom for their children, and to shake off the yoke of the oppressor, They, too, were moved by the pow erful motives of self-interest. It re mained for Texas to furnish the third example, and the most striking of the lot, for in this latter case no selfish motives entered in. Their homes were not invaded, their liber ties not to be won. Moved only by that sympathy which makes men al most divine, they risked their lives that others might be free, and nt the call of the oppressed ffave all that man can give their lives for the sacred cause. JNo more precious eift was ever made at the shrine of Liberty than the fifteen brave lives, sacrificed so gloriously that Cuba might be free. It may be that no monument of stone shall mark the spot where these men fell, for national gratitude is a rare trait, but the pages of history for all time to come will contain their story, which shall stand side by side with those of Thermopylae and the Alamo. Texas may well feel proud of her sons, for of the three great examples of men fighting to the last, Texas has furnished two, the balance of the world, one. The ambassadors of the European governments have met and agreed upon reforms in Turkey which they have submitted to the sultan. It seems that copper-colored accident is not satisfied with the arrangements and refuses to listen to them He rises to the heroics, and with the pride engendered by the uncorrupted blood of a long line of murderous and licentious ancestors, he dramat ically said, "I may be the last of the Caliphs, but I will never be a second Khedive." It might be better for Abdul Ham id to con a few of our homely English proverbs. "Half a loaf is better than no bread" might do tor a kindergarten example, and along with this the story of the farmer who threw grass, clods and then stones at the boy in his apple tree. He might learn from these ancient stories that it were better to come down gracefully and cheerfully while he may do so without seeming com pulsion. General Weyler says that "when the Cubans begin to come in and surrender in large crowds, then the balance will soon come in and sur- render all at once. it the cap tain general had not given so much publicity to the fact that surrender meant torture and. murder, he might have done something with the non combatants- Most people, though would as soon take their' chance of being hanged as to surrender and be burned. Miamania county possesses some very valuable mines, or at least the people down at Stevenson think so, There was quite an excitement last fall over the discovery of gold-bear ing quartz, an excitement that has not died out yet, lint which contin ues in spite of snow, rain and cold We hope our friends down that way will not be disappointed, but we must confess to a lack of faith in Cascade mountain quartz claims. There is an epidemic of buglary in Portland, said epidemic commencing about the time the gang had burgled its way across thefjstate from Cali fornia. It is not probable the bold gang will go around Eastern Oregon it being much more probable it will go through it. In time of peace prepare for war, and in times like these prepare for a visit from the bold burglar. The commander of one of Uncle Sam's warships is credited with the following declaration : "If the United States government will give me per mission to turn loose on Havana, there won't be anything but Spanish spoken in hell in the next two months. We suggest that Secretary Olney and the senate light it out in San Francisco, with Earp as referee. The decision might not be correct, but it would stop the everlasting yawp. The bar has been removed from the capitol building at Washington, and now our senators and congress men may be able to pass in and out without either pilot or tug. HOW CHILDREN ARE SPOILED. Tlie Young Mother Fosters ITffly Traits by Injudicious Management -The dangers that cluster about the untried feet of the young mother begin from the very first dawning of her babe's intelligence. Long before she drecms of his knowing anything or re ceiving mental impressions, the seeds are sowing for good or ill in his char acter. I have watched the growth of weeds that, with the lightest touch, usight have been flipped away from the louder soil, but time passed by and the intruder flourished apace. Get control of you.r child during the first three years and you are sure of him. If the habit of obedience and deference is fi rmly rooted then he will never fail yon iu after years when he has slipped the apron leash. The trouble is too often with the parents. The mother herself fosters uglj' traits by injudicious management. II cr baby refuses to kiss her. She makes believe to cry about it and thus gives a lesson that will soon have him crying for what he wants. He bumps his head and she whips the door or whatever it was that hurt him, thus teaching him to be combative and spiteful. What is it that makes nearly all children liars and many of them thieves? Ihey are trained to be so by the unconscious fin gers that point the way. The mother promises anything, everything to keep peace and avoid a combat with the little creature, who even now is beyond her control. She does not fulfill these promises and the child becomes her judge. Never tell a lie to a child, or in any way deceive him, if you would hope to get the proper influence. Do not rob him of the happiness of supreme trust in you. It will cling to him through life. Ladies' Home Companion. Asked Too Much. Is it true that your engagement is broken?" The beautiful girl inclined her head slightly and acted as if she considered the subject a particularly painful one. "He must have done something ter rible," persisted the .best friend. "I never knew of anyone more devoted than you." "We could have been happy if it were not for his intolerant spirit," answered the beautiful girl. "I gave in to him on every point that I could and still retain my independence, but when he insisted that I should give up my bicycle and ride the make he favored it. was too much." Chicago Post. Tne War to Advance. The following new story is told of the late Lord AropthUl. When he was a junior clerk in the foreign office. Lord Palmerston, then foreign secretary, in troduced an innovation ' whereby in stead of being solemnly summoned by a verbal message the clerks were ex pected to answer his bell. Some haugh ty spirits, rebelled against being trearted like footmen and tried to organize re- . sistanoe, but Odo Russell, as he then was, refused to join the rebellious move ment, saying that whatever method ap prised him most quickly of Lord Palmerstotu's wishes was the method which he preferred. The aggrieved clerks regarded him as a traitor to his order, but he died an ambassador. ELKS GATHER IN A HERD. And Hat a Carnival of Frolic ana Fan. Festivity, Cascade Lodge, B. P. O. E.f No. 303, met in their hall Saturday night in social session, with W. L. Bradshaw act ing as chairman. About forty of the antlered frateroitv were present, accom panied by about the same number of ladies. ' When Chairman Bradshaw called time, the fan commenced, grew, waxed fat, fast and furious." The Dalles orches tra was present and discoursed some its sweetest music during the evening. At the request of the chairman, J. S. Fish, C. L. Phillips and J. Hampshire sang the opening ode, and were promptly fined $3 a piece, for having the temerity to offer to sing before ladies, when they all knew they couldn't, thus bringing disgrace on the order. The lecture was free, going with the fine. Then Mr. John Hampshire was called upon for a eolo, which he gave in hia beet voice, and hit best is good enough for anybody, The chairman, however, waB looking closely after the lodge's reputation, and lectured him warmly "for deceiving th lodge with the 6tory that he could sing and then getting up and exDosinor his lack of voice, ignorance of time, and enormously uncultured ears." The fine in' his case was $3. E. Jacobsen, Fait, T. J. Driver, Ted Seufert and Mr Ferguson were fined $2.50 each for com ing in late, and this was no sooner paid than John Hertz was crlled to the front and after listening to the chairman ex patiate on the enormity of his offense in getting married without consent of the lodge, he was fined $15. On his making a eolemn promise not to do it again, the chairman very generously allowed him to make it in two payments, both at once. Ihen the chairman's eagle eve fell on Dr. Siddall and he was invited to the center and fined $10 for not bringing a lady with him. The doctor kicked and had his fine promptly raised to $12, Judge Blakeley was fined $3 for putting up hair tonic that produced bald heads W. H. Wilson was called upon for a story, and as he refused was fined J3 the chairman stating that his discretion saved him $3, for he would have been fined $6 if be had tried to tell one, J. B. Crossen was fined $2.76 for being a grandfather, and J. A. Crossen, who tried to dodge the chairman's glance, got it for $2.50 for hiding behind bis wife. Tom Kelley received earnest commendation for bis neat appearance nicely blacked shoe9, immaculate ties. etc., and just when be began to smile at his easy escape, the chairman froze his mirth with a fine of $5 for showing him self in the presence of ladies with the top of his head bare. A. S. Mac AUister received a genuine roast for bringing his own wife, thus setting a fearful example to the brethren, and was fined $5. Grant Mays was called up. "Brother Mays," said the chairman, "it becomes my painful duty to caution you, to warn you, and to condemn. You fancy you are a ladies man ! You spend your time before the mirror admiring yourself! toil are too particular about your clothes, and the cut of your hair and smile! I am disposed to fine you the full limit, and you can walk up to the office and pay 5 cents. Grant remarked in a whisper that be was $2.45 ahead, as be borrowed the monev from his mother, but the ears of the chairman were keen, and $2.50 was added to the fine. H. H. Biddell was fined for hav ing a bad memory, he being accused of inviting three young ladies and forget ting to bring any. Dr. Logan was fined $2.50 for coming alone, and W. A. John eon had to pungle $9 for holding tbe baby, and thus depriving his wife of her inalienable rights. Max Vogt, Jr., had to settle up for "being too long on earth," and Julias Wiley, for arresting one of Herbring's dummies. T. J Driver was nned. $11 for saying yes when asked if he could sing the dox- ology, and Dr. Fraser was fined the same amount for singing that same hymn to the tune of Annie Laurie, Harry Lonsdale recited a poem and re ceived a roast "for imposing a lot of rotten doggerel on intelligent people, and for trying to recite anything at all in public ; fine, $8. Dr. Sturdevant was charged $10 for having to be coaxed to come. A. M. Kelsay paid $5 for being too diligent in attending to the sick, and everybody that wiggled enough to catch the chairman's eye, got a lecture and a fine. The address of welcome was delivered by Exalted Baler Micbell, who left nothing to be said. As tbe fines went flying right and left, tbe au dience entered into the spirit of the thing and were convulsed with laugh ter. , , Dancing was next in order and was thoroughly enjoyed, the great and taking feature being a quadrille a-la-stag par ticipated In by eight gentlemen, most of whom knew nothing about dancing. " Shortly after 11 o'clock the big Uma tilla house 'bus was brought into requi sition, and in two trips the ladies were all taken to the Umatilla bouse, where, under the direction of Steward Wilson, as fine a supper was Bpread as ever graced a festive board in Oregon. Chair man Bradshaw acted as toast master, and after the good things on the table bad been attended to, Exalted Baler Michell responded to the toast, Cascade Lodge, No. 303," in a brief but scholarly address. "The B. P. O. E.," was re- 8 ponded to by Bert Phelps, in a manner j ibat won hearty and prolonged applause. J. A. Donthit spoke feelingly in response to "Our Absent Brothers," and H. H. Riddel! made an eloquent response to "The Dalles." "Our Dears" brought W. H. Wilson to his feet, and his ad dress showed a thorough understanding of the subject. The speech of the even ing was that of T. J. Driver in response to the toast "Minneapolis in 1897." We regret we have not space for this gem in its entirety, but cannot forbear a quota tion or two. Minneapolis," said the elo quent speaker, "Minneapolis, what a theme for poet, what a dream for the painterl Minnie an apple is I Aye! More Mr. Chairman, she is a peach, a velvet robed, crimson tinted Crawford's early, blushing beneath the kisses of tbe summer sun. Soft as the touch of a mother's lip upon the brow of her slumbering babe; luscious as the heart of a watermelon, with the rounded iull- ness of a Cleopatra and the languorous sweetness of a Gulbeyez. Her teeth are as the ivory keys of a rosewood piano, iter eyes two petincia pools 01 aew gathered in the enow-white chalices of twin lilies. Her nose pink and white, tip-tilted and cute as those of a whole litter of cbester-wbite piglets. Her hands are supple and straight, and she lifts ber drooping lashes, only to blush iu a royal flush. Her hair is as the spun gold of Ophir. Her neck is a column of marble, set on a drift of snow, and ber feet are as white mice at play. She is altogether lovely, all wool, and warranted not to shrink: :n tbe wash. She would lure an anchorite from the single blessedness ideas of St. Paul." In conclusion he said, "Where, my friends, can you 6nd aught so beau tiful?" Hear I Hear! yelled the de lighted Elks, 'and" casting his eyes a-down the tables, the speaker closed his speech by saying, "Yes! here my friends, and here only." And then the only reason the roof did not come off was because the ceiling was in the way. A few minutes after midnight the party broke up, and it is safe to say that no entertainment ever given in The Dalies, left such vivid and such pleasant memories as those which will last for life, of the social meeting of the Elks Saturday night. CATARRM local'd'isease and is the result ot colds and sudden climatic changes. For your Protection we positively state that this remedy does not contain mercury or any other injur ious drug. Ely's Cream Balm Is acknowledged to be the most thorough cure for Kauil Catarrh, Cold in Head and Hay Fever of all remedies. It opens and cleanses the nasal passages, allays pain am a inn inflammation, heals the sores, pro- of tnste and smell. Price 50c. at Druggists or by mail. tccts mi e membrane from colds, restores the senses ELY BitOTHEBS. 66 Warren Street. New York. OPERA HOUSE ONE NIGHT ONLY. PRODUC TION. COOK TWIN SISTERS. Magnificent Scenic Production of the Original Dramatization oi Mrs. Stowe's Immortal Novel, Uncle Tom's Cabin 40 People, a Palace Car, 20 Ponies, Uonfceys ana curros, 8 Original Jubilee Singers. A Pack of Man-eating 'Siberian Bloodhounds. including Aiax, tne5,000 champion beauty. Eva's ttolden unanoi, cosuug (-vmi. Uncle Tom nd bis Typical Southern Ox-Cart. A Band of Music. AU this In our Grand Free Street Display. The sight of a LUeUme. Don't miss it. . Admission, Children.. 25c Adults 50c KathfntT prfm for rmprvl ntr haa. vhlrh am now oa sale at Snipes-Kineniy'i store. VOGT TPPflY, JEGEJMR 31. $2010